Mariposa, drifting through the wind, couldn’t wait to grow wings so that your life could begin.
Found it hard to come out of your shell, but that’s a secret you’d never tell.
Mariposa, with the colors of fiery embers, went searching for warmth this September.
All grown-up, with so much to live up to, suffered silently, while nobody else knew.
Mariposa, why do you cry? withstood wounds, yet still you could fly.
Though you held on for as long as you could, you endured more than anyone should.
Mariposa, breathe deep and close your eyes. You gained a new kind of wings, so in the place you left is where your memory lies.
Once just an adolescent, now your spirit shines iridescent.
Mariposa, your metamorphosis was remarkable for all to witness, it’s a tragic tale, your story had to end in sickness.
~~~ Much like last month’s post, inspiration for this piece came not from a true personal experience, but simply by learning about the life of monarch butterflies. Did you know that final generation monarch butterflies (born in spring, migrate south in fall) typically have a much longer lifespan (months as opposed to weeks) than the first generation (born late summer/early fall, migrate north in spring)? However, any of the migratory monarchs are likely to face threats to their survival along their journey. Therefore, some of the final-generation monarchs may not live as long as they are expected to, hence the idea behind this piece. I used the Spanish translation of butterfly, “mariposa”, as a nod to Spanish Heritage Month (September 15th-October 15th). If you’ve made it to the end of this, thanks for reading!
Doctors in Nashville were performing a spina bifida corrective procedure on a pregnant woman 21 weeks from conception, when the unborn child unexpectedly reached from the womb and reacted to the touch of his surgeon, Dr. Bruner, at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. At the time of the image, the experimental procedure was the 64th ever performed at Vanderbilt U.M.C. Dated August 19th, 1999, this image captured by Michael Clancy adopted the title “Hand Of Hope”.
“Samuel’s Story” she read across the top of the article dated in April 2000. She looked in amazement at the astonishing photo in front of her. Beside the picture the text explains that “it was taken in the operating room during delicate surgery on the spine of a baby boy who was still in his mother’s uterus”. Fragments of the story caught her eye. “21-week old pre-born baby”, “operated on by…Joseph Bruner”, “diagnosed with Spina bifida, which leaves the spinal cord exposed”, “unless the gap was closed to protect his nervous system, serious brain damage would likely have occurred before birth”, “There was no time to lose”. She then read, “…corrective surgery had never been performed on a baby this young. However, the parents…have a deep faith.” While reading this touching story, she was completely unaware that a year from then, she would become more than familiar with this miraculous operation for a still-developing, pre-born child with such disability.
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The date was January 2nd, 2001. The day she would receive the test results. She sat caressing her stomach as she waited anxiously by the phone. Then, in an instant, it was confirmed. The nurse informed her that the blood test she had taken came back positive; her baby has been diagnosed with a defect in which the baby’s spine and spinal cord hadn’t developed properly in the womb, causing a gap in the spine, and leading to nerve damage. Her baby has Spina bifida.
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The following week was her 16 week ultrasound. After what seemed like years of silence, suddenly with no emotion in her voice, the doctor had the audacity to suggest something that took the two expecting parents by surprise: termination. Astonished that the doctor would rush to suggest such a thing for her baby, the parents immediately asked what else she could do for her disabled daughter. With almost a disappointed sigh, the doctor disclosed the there was the option of “in utero” surgery. She explained in meticulous detail that this is surgery performed before birth, in which the women’s uterus is taken out and microscopic tools are used to operate on the baby to close the baby’s opening on the back, then placed back to allow the baby to continue to grow for the rest of the pregnancy. The two undoubtedly wanted to take this chance for their baby girl. Proclaiming this decision, they were told that the next week they would need to fly to Nashville, where at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, Dr. Joseph Bruner would perform this surgery to correct the baby’s exposed spinal cord. Where had she heard that name? It sounded so familiar, the woman thought. Then it clicked. He was the doctor who was the very first to perform this exact surgery on that young boy, Samuel, that she had read about in an article a year ago. What a coincidence, she thought. And so, with hopeful hearts, the two expecting parents traveled to Nashville. ___________________________________
Once they arrived, what the mother didn’t expect was for the doctors there to do everything in their power to talk her out of going through with the surgery. With loads of terrifying medical terminology thrown her way, she apprehensively listened as they emphasized that it could be extremely life-threatening to her and the baby. Overwhelmed with such an important decision to make, the parents were sent back to their hotel to think it over for the next few days. On the car ride home she couldn’t help but notice the song that had been playing repeatedly throughout the trip so far, playing yet again. Looking at the radio, it read “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack. She listened closely to the song, and it was five words that for reasons she could not pinpoint, she felt drawn to: “give faith a fighting chance”. In that moment, as well as later that night, as the two parents gathered for prayer, they made their critical decision. ___________________________________
The next morning, the couple presented their final answer to the doctors. Again, they attempted to scare the two with alarming medical jargon that admittedly they didn’t fully understand. It was clear the woman would, in a sense, be a lab rat for these doctors, as for her doctor had been the first and only one to perform this surgery, and the procedure was still relatively new and experimental. Yet they stood firm in their choice. Yes, she could die, yes, the baby could die, but if there’s just the slightest possibility that her baby could live a “normal” life despite the disability, then this surgery is absolutely what this ardent expecting father and mother wanted. ___________________________________
On Thursday, January 25th, 2001, at only 19 weeks pregnant, the expecting mother left her life and her baby’s life in the hands of God and the surgery was successful. Of course the baby would be born with this disability, spina bifida, but both herself and the baby were still alive and the surgery increased the chances of the baby’s brain function being “normal”. The baby girl would get to live an ordinary life with only the expected struggles in common day-to-day physical operations. And for that reason, the soon-to-be parents wholeheartedly believed that it was all worth it. ___________________________________
After returning home to Houston the mother was placed on intense bed rest for months. It was crucial for the mother not to go into labor before 25 weeks. If this were to occur, the baby would die. If the baby were to be born between 25 and 30 weeks, her doctor emphasized the baby would survive but have “serious defects”. At home, she laid still in bed, attached to multiple pesky tubes and eerie monitors, counting down the minutes until the couple could welcome their baby girl into the world. ___________________________________
On May 3rd, 2001, at 9:16 PM, after the woman experienced scarily excessive blood loss from enduring a painful C-section, a healthy, 6 lbs 9 oz baby girl was born. The couple named her Faith Maria.
The new mother’s doctor approached her side and told her with a soft smile, “always make her feel loved and beautiful”, and just that she did. ~~~
》 Faith It ‘til You Make It 《 