The Phony Poet

In honor of World Poetry Day, here’s poem about a poet (me) who has only ever written her works via keyboard and computer screen to comply with the way this modernized society works, yet at the same time, often writing about her deep love for paper and the pen, which can at times feel “phony”. ✍🏻

Written in between these lines
are little lies, 
told by a poet who holds some secrets—
though she’s not sure how much longer she can keep them. 

The poet, who’s written of her love for the pen
time and time again,
truthfully, has yet to ink her words by hand onto pages in black.
She’s an imposter—who wears many masks.

Rather she’s been hiding behind a screen, 
ever since the world around her 
was taken over 
by these tempting technologies. 

She wants you to believe
that her words are told with pure sincerity.
Yet all she can do is feel guilty
as she sits back and watches libraries, precious sheets
of paper, and beloved books become obsolete.

The only feeling she really knows, is the touch of her fingertips to a keyboard—
that only leaves her hankering for something more. 

As she types,
she’s haunted 
by the sounds of these keys—click, click, click
She tosses and turns at night, 
feeling taunted 
by the cries of the clock in her mind that never ceases to tick, tick, tick.

Unknown, is just how much time there is left, 
so residing within her, are all these regrets. 
If only she could, she’d go back to a time
when the grace of a quill pen was still cherished and live amongst the greatest poets alive.

Think she ought to give up this charade,
pick up a pen, and let go of this masquerade. 
Because until then, no one will ever truly see
the beauty of it all and once it’s too late, all she might ever be known as—is the phony.

Marked With an “S” 

From the day that I was born I’ve been marked with an “S”,
it’s stuck to me like a stamp that has permanently stained my skin. 

Spina bifidascoliosis—the scary diagnoses meant to define me,
but that’s only where my story begins. 

Became a statistic before I could even breathe on my own, 
with a slim chance of survival, yet look how much I’ve since grown. 

Learned to ignore curious stares since I was a child, 
to understand that they were just kids too, and just respond with a smile. 

Sit up with a straight spine, stand tall in my sneakers—some of the things I’ve never done.
Is that, to you, what makes me such a “special” one? 

I’m no superhuman, I don’t see what you do. 
I may wear some stitches and scars, still I don’t need anything from you. 

Despite several surgeries and sicknesses I’ve made it out,
because that’s not what my life is all about. 

Though it may seem, I do not suffer from what I have,
so save your sympathy for someone else, and let me speak on my own behalf.

I’ve got no sensation in my legs, 
but I’m not half of a human, so don’t treat me that way.

Surmounted every stereotype and stunned the world, 
but I am that I am—I’m just a girl.

So call me strong for everything I’ve been through, 
but in your next sentence, make sure to say that I’m a sweet friend, a sports fan, a big sister, and a storyteller too.

~~~
Though I was born with a disability, I’ve never let it affect my entire life or mentality. I’m fortunate to have the best family and friends that treat me as they would any other, therefore I used to think it was silly to take a day to “celebrate” me, because there’s so much more to me than my disability. I always thought, “Why should I be celebrated for simply being me?” I’ve only recently realized that it’s okay to take pride in the things that make us unique from the rest, mine just happens to be my disability. Furthermore, by having a designated day or month for such, I can embrace those within my community and find comfort and familiarity within our shared life experiences. So, Happy World Spina Bifida Day to myself, and to all born just like me!