18 Things I Learned at 18

In a few days, I will officially be 19 years old. This past year was a monumental year in my life, so I compiled a list of 18 things I learned at 18.

1. Self love is the best kind of love

I always say that you must treat yourself like your own best friend. Above all else you must first have respect and care for oneself. You can’t let your bonds with others precede as the main source of your happiness, otherwise you’ll never be content.

2. Treat yourself

The best treat we can give our bodies is a break, a time for us to reset and forget about all of our worries. Sometimes putting on a cute outfit and doing my makeup to go nowhere just makes me feel confident and ready to take on the day.

3. Change is okay

While we don’t like when things change and we wish everything could stay the same, over the years I’ve learned to accept changes in life. Change isn’t always bad and scary, but an opportunity for new things.

4. Home is not a place, it’s the people around you

A house is nothing but the four walls and ceiling surrounding you. As I’ve embraced change, I learned that home is wherever your loved ones are.

5. Keep in contact with your loved ones

If this time in quarantine taught me anything, it’s that I wholeheartedly appreciate every text, call, or video chat conversation with my family and friends.

6. Quality over quantity

As cliche as it sounds, I’ve learned to choose wisely the people you let enter and stay in your life. All you need is a small circle of loyal, caring friends that you know will be by your side for life.

7. Don’t overanalyze

I used to think too much into certain situations and come to my own conclusions about them. I have now learned not to stress myself so much about these things that will have no affect on me whatsoever later in life. Sometimes there’s no why and it simply just is.

8. Adulting sucks

Yes, the stage in life we most looked forward to when we were young and naive isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. But, it allows you a higher level of respect and freedom to be who you have always set out to be, so just breathe and hang in there.

9. Everything happens for a reason

Even if we never figure out or understand why, we must accept that all our life experiences happen for some reason.

10. Get outside more

I’ve come to embrace the beauty in nature, and understand how important it is for our physical health to get outside more, to breathe in fresh air and soak up the sun as much as possible.

11. Studying at home can be tough

As someone who chose to continue their studies online, I’m aware that it can be tough. You must pace yourself and work on a schedule to avoid procrastination. Don’t think so much about the race, but keep in mind the finish line!

12. Have a routine

In our daily lives, it is important to have a routine. Sticking to a routine allows you to get what you want or need done and provides you a sense of accomplishment as you finish tasks throughout the day.

13. Make every moment count

Even under unfortunate circumstances, we must make the best out of every situation. Instead of wasting your time and dwelling on the negatives, have a positive outlook on things in order to get through them.

14. Be grateful

Now more than ever, I realize how grateful I am for the life that I have. It’s a terrifying tragedy that in an instant, a life can be taken away. So, we must fill compassion for others in our hearts and never take for granted each day that we get to awaken.

15. Follow your dream

In order to find joy in the path that life is taking you, it is crucial to follow nobody else’s aspirations but your own.

16. Effort = Success

If you put in the work, it will pay off someday. I’ve learned to work hard at my passion and to not give up, because true success doesn’t happen overnight.

17. Manifestation is key

Whatever your heart desires to pursue in life, manifest it, and it will happen. You are the author of your own life’s story, so make mistakes, have patience, and hold on to faith.

18. Love only

Through my eighteen years of life experience I’ve believed in the power of compassion. Love heals. In a society consumed by violence and hatred, there’s only one thing we need more of: love only.

Although I never imagined my 19th birthday would be spent in the middle of a quarantine, I am just thankful to see another year!

For the Love of a Child

Doctors in Nashville were performing a spina bifida corrective procedure on a pregnant woman 21 weeks from conception, when the unborn child unexpectedly reached from the womb and reacted to the touch of his surgeon, Dr. Bruner, at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. At the time of the image, the experimental procedure was the 64th ever performed at Vanderbilt U.M.C. Dated August 19th, 1999, this image captured by Michael Clancy adopted the title “Hand Of Hope”.

“Samuel’s Story” she read across the top of the article dated in April 2000. She looked in amazement at the astonishing photo in front of her. Beside the picture the text explains that “it was taken in the operating room during delicate surgery on the spine of a baby boy who was still in his mother’s uterus”. Fragments of the story caught her eye. “21-week old pre-born baby”, “operated on by…Joseph Bruner”, “diagnosed with Spina bifida, which leaves the spinal cord exposed”, “unless the gap was closed to protect his nervous system, serious brain damage would likely have occurred before birth”, “There was no time to lose”. She then read, “…corrective surgery had never been performed on a baby this young. However, the parents…have a deep faith.” While reading this touching story, she was completely unaware that a year from then, she would become more than familiar with this miraculous operation for a still-developing, pre-born child with such disability.

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The date was January 2nd, 2001. The day she would receive the test results. She sat caressing her stomach as she waited anxiously by the phone. Then, in an instant, it was confirmed. The nurse informed her that the blood test she had taken came back positive; her baby has been diagnosed with a defect in which the baby’s spine and spinal cord hadn’t developed properly in the womb, causing a gap in the spine, and leading to nerve damage. Her baby has Spina bifida. 

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The following week was her 16 week ultrasound. After what seemed like years of silence, suddenly with no emotion in her voice, the doctor had the audacity to suggest something that took the two expecting parents by surprise: termination. Astonished that the doctor would rush to suggest such a thing for her baby, the parents immediately asked what else she could do for her disabled daughter. With almost a disappointed sigh, the doctor disclosed the there was the option of “in utero” surgery. She explained in meticulous detail that this is surgery performed before birth, in which the women’s uterus is taken out and microscopic tools are used to operate on the baby to close the baby’s opening on the back, then placed back to allow the baby to continue to grow for the rest of the pregnancy. The two undoubtedly wanted to take this chance for their baby girl. Proclaiming this decision, they were told that the next week they would need to fly to Nashville, where at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, Dr. Joseph Bruner would perform this surgery to correct the baby’s exposed spinal cord. Where had she heard that name? It sounded so familiar, the woman thought. Then it clicked. He was the doctor who was the very first to perform this exact surgery on that young boy, Samuel, that she had read about in an article a year ago. What a coincidence, she thought. And so, with hopeful hearts, the two expecting parents traveled to Nashville.
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Once they arrived, what the mother didn’t expect was for the doctors there to do everything in their power to talk her out of going through with the surgery. With loads of terrifying medical terminology thrown her way, she apprehensively listened as they emphasized that it could be extremely life-threatening to her and the baby. Overwhelmed with such an important decision to make, the parents were sent back to their hotel to think it over for the next few days. On the car ride home she couldn’t help but notice the song that had been playing repeatedly throughout the trip so far, playing yet again. Looking at the radio, it read “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack. She listened closely to the song, and it was five words that for reasons she could not pinpoint, she felt drawn to: “give faith a fighting chance”. In that moment, as well as later that night, as the two parents gathered for prayer, they made their critical decision.
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The next morning, the couple presented their final answer to the doctors. Again, they attempted to scare the two with alarming medical jargon that admittedly they didn’t fully understand. It was clear the woman would, in a sense, be a lab rat for these doctors, as for her doctor had been the first and only one to perform this surgery, and the procedure was still relatively new and experimental. Yet they stood firm in their choice. Yes, she could die, yes, the baby could die, but if there’s just the slightest possibility that her baby could live a “normal” life despite the disability, then this surgery is absolutely what this ardent expecting father and mother wanted.
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On Thursday, January 25th, 2001, at only 19 weeks pregnant, the expecting mother left her life and her baby’s life in the hands of God and the surgery was successful. Of course the baby would be born with this disability, spina bifida, but both herself and the baby were still alive and the surgery increased the chances of the baby’s brain function being “normal”. The baby girl would get to live an ordinary life with only the expected struggles in common day-to-day physical operations. And for that reason, the soon-to-be parents wholeheartedly believed that it was all worth it.
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After returning home to Houston the mother was placed on intense bed rest for months. It was crucial for the mother not to go into labor before 25 weeks. If this were to occur, the baby would die. If the baby were to be born between 25 and 30 weeks, her doctor emphasized the baby would survive but have “serious defects”. At home, she laid still in bed, attached to multiple pesky tubes and eerie monitors, counting down the minutes until the couple could welcome their baby girl into the world.
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On May 3rd, 2001, at 9:16 PM, after the woman experienced scarily excessive blood loss from enduring a painful C-section, a healthy, 6 lbs 9 oz baby girl was born. The couple named her Faith Maria.

The new mother’s doctor approached her side and told her with a soft smile, “always make her feel loved and beautiful”, and just that she did.
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