Where I’ve Been

If you’re reading this, I first want to thank you for sticking with me this long. I started this blog exactly six years ago in the same year and only a few short months before the world was going to shutdown due to a global pandemic. Since then, I’ve accomplished so much that I wanted as a writer, including self-publishing my own book— during a week-long power outage in my area. I can’t say that second part was in my plans when I envisioned publishing my debut book, but if I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that nothing ever goes strictly as planned.

You may have noticed my long absence on this site, and for that, I have no excuses. Since writing and releasing my book, I’ve been stuck in a long period of intense writer’s block. The same place I was in five months ago, during my last blog post celebrating one year of my book—the last time that I’ve written anything.

I’ve discussed it here before but I’ll say it again that it’s a tough feeling—to feel like I’m no longer a writer, because the words to say have simply not come to me in so long. But what I’ve realized is that I will always be a writer, and writing will always be a part of who I am, even during periods when I am not creating. This is certainly not the last you’ve heard from me, and I look forward to a long future doing what I love to the most.

So where have I been? I’ve been spending time with those I love most— my family and friends. I’ve been making an effort to take more pictures, to encapsulate all moments—to the smallest, seemingly trivial days to the more significant times this year, such as meeting a new family member!

In this new year, when I’m not creating, I wish to read more works from those who inspire me— a goal I’ve always set, but admittedly, have yet to fulfill completely. This shall be made possible now that I’ve acquired the book The Poetry of Emily Dickinson, someone I admire deeply. She’s a young woman who never realized her full potential, whose goal was never to write to publish and be seen, but simply for herself because she genuinely loved the art itself. She’s proof that despite what “success” may mean in the aspect of one’s career, notoriety might not even come until our days have long passed on this Earth. Like Dickinson, I too write for nobody but myself, to satiate this itch, this calling from within my soul. Despite this, in the new year I will work on improving my self-promotion, so one day the world knows about my words, and projects such as my book, that I put my soul into.

So looking ahead to this new year of 2026, and moving forward, I think the question isn’t about where I’ve been, but where I’m going.

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Happy New Year!

The Phony Poet

In honor of World Poetry Day, here’s poem about a poet (me) who has only ever written her works via keyboard and computer screen to comply with the way this modernized society works, yet at the same time, often writing about her deep love for paper and the pen, which can at times feel “phony”. ✍🏻

Written in between these lines
are little lies, 
told by a poet who holds some secrets—
though she’s not sure how much longer she can keep them. 

The poet, who’s written of her love for the pen
time and time again,
truthfully, has yet to ink her words by hand onto pages in black.
She’s an imposter—who wears many masks.

Rather she’s been hiding behind a screen, 
ever since the world around her 
was taken over 
by these tempting technologies. 

She wants you to believe
that her words are told with pure sincerity.
Yet all she can do is feel guilty
as she sits back and watches libraries, precious sheets
of paper, and beloved books become obsolete.

The only feeling she really knows, is the touch of her fingertips to a keyboard—
that only leaves her hankering for something more. 

As she types,
she’s haunted 
by the sounds of these keys—click, click, click
She tosses and turns at night, 
feeling taunted 
by the cries of the clock in her mind that never ceases to tick, tick, tick.

Unknown, is just how much time there is left, 
so residing within her, are all these regrets. 
If only she could, she’d go back to a time
when the grace of a quill pen was still cherished and live amongst the greatest poets alive.

Think she ought to give up this charade,
pick up a pen, and let go of this masquerade. 
Because until then, no one will ever truly see
the beauty of it all and once it’s too late, all she might ever be known as—is the phony.