Nostalgia and Nirvana

I breathe in life, and exhale experiences.
I shed a tear to taste pain.
I lose all my senses,
when I feel these chemicals rushing through my veins like Novocaine.

Some days I dream
of building
a time machine,
as I cling

onto this urge to hit rewind
on moments in life,
and I’m searching for nirvana—this fix, this release
of dopamine.

Because there’s no feeling
more euphoric than reminiscing
upon the past,
wishing you could get the best parts of it back.

No greater high
than to be alive. No better remedy
than creating memories.

Feels like the good old days
are slipping away
but that’s fine
because in time—

I can look back and say
I had never wanted to get so numb on life, that when it passed me by—
I’d forgotten to remember the beauty of yesterday.

You can find this poem in my poetry book If I Bare My Soul: a collection of poetry & prose available to order only on Amazon!

Sunburn

We burned brighter than the sun until the day you left—left me here with nothing but the memory of you, stinging like a sunburn. 
You were untouchable; the person I once was had so much to learn.

I craved your affection like my body craves the warmth of the sun,
so why did you have to run? 

I’ve tried to peel your ghost from my scorched skin but you were determined to leave your mark. 
You set me on fire, then left me here to burn in the dark.

So, like an insatiable itch that won’t go away, 
you haven’t left my mind to this day. 

I often ponder about what we could’ve had, 
If only I knew then, it would hurt this bad.

I shouldn’t have ignored all the warning signs, but I did. 
Can you blame me? I was only just a kid.

It took some time, but what I know now, 
is that I’ll never let another break me down.

Now here I am, a freckle-faced girl with a brand new glow,
someone I could’ve never been without the tear stains written in your name on my pillow. 

I used to see the golden sun in your eyes,
but somewhere in between tender tan lines and little white lies,

I’ve forgotten your name. 
You’re fading now, so there’s not much more to say. 

I once thought I was at the point of no return, 
thankfully the pain you caused was only temporary, much like a sunburn. 
~~~
When you’ve never experienced romance nor the heartbreak that can stem from it (thankfully!), as a writer, sometimes you have to rely on other familiar experiences, pure imagination, and some dramatics to create stories. As is the case with this poem, the idea of which was inspired entirely by an actual sunburn I obtained this summer (that I still have tan lines from). Pretty neat, right?