Earlier this month marked my 24th birthday. This past year has been one wild ride, full of ups and downs—characterized by birthday rainstorms, summertime power outages, and publishing my first book. One year later, and I couldn’t be more grateful for a less eventful, low key birthday simply surrounded by all the people I love.
Typically every year for my birthday I write a blog, whether it be a reflective piece or a poem.I’ve accomplished so many of my creative goals already, from writing profiles on other individuals to publishing a collection of my own poetry, so this year I’ve pondered heavily about the question, what’s next for me?
I think many us can relate to the feeling of wanting to have all the answers in life. If this past year has taught me anything, it’s that this is merely impossible. We may never know why certain things happen, we may not know what comes next, and that’s okay. I’ve learned to embrace uncertainty. While the unknown can be scary, we have to accept that each waking day is a new opportunity for growth and learning, and allow ourselves this freedom.
So when I ask myself, what’s in store for 24 year old me? The answer is simply: I don’t know quite yet—and that’s okay. What I do know, is that I will continue to soak up inspiration like a sponge. I will continue to seek creative opportunities, and create art when I feel inspired. I will continue to learn from other artists, and from the world around me. I will continue to grow my craft a little at a time, to stay in love with the art of written expression. I don’t know what’s next for me in my creative journey, I don’t know where I go from here, but I know that the only way to go is up, and in this feeling I am at peace.
It’s always been a dream of mine to write a book. I’ve been told numerous times “You have such a unique story to tell! You should write a book!” and for a while that was hard for me to grasp because, to me, I’ve always just felt like your average girl, that just so happens to have been born with a disability. I always seem to revert back to this idea of, who cares what I have to say? So though I had this dream within me, I never thought I had anything interesting enough to say.
But the more I shared my writings on social media and received supportive feedback, the more I fell in love with it and gained confidence in my creative skills. Though it wasn’t actually until I confided in my best friend about this hesitancy I’d felt and she told me “I think all creatives have this when they’re on the brink of something good, it just means you care!,” that I truly felt like maybe she was right, that maybe I just needed to go for it.
Many years into my writing career, I was starting to feel discouraged because I wasn’t receiving the opportunities that I once believed would come easily, so I came to this realization that if I wanted to accomplish this dream of mine, I’d have to take matters into my own hands. And so, at the beginning of this year I set intentions for myself that by summertime I would self-publish a book. It was more than a goal, but a promise I intended to keep to myself. Finally on July 10th, I did just that, and published my debut poetry book.
Not even a power outage could take away my joy in sharing my debut book with the world!
This book is a mix of raw honest narratives from my perspective, not only as a young woman trying to navigate life but as a proud person with a disability, as well as some fictional creative writing pieces. Because I find inspiration everywhere—in the falling autumn leaves, under the warmth of the scorching summer sun, in every melody of music I listen to—and everything I create, even fictional, is a piece of my soul that I am giving away.
This book is about getting to know myself and finding my true calling through the artistic outlet of written expression. It’s about navigating the chaos of life in your teenage years and your early twenties, about womanhood, and overcoming adversity. It’s about the great value I place on all the relationships I’m lucky enough to have in my life—the only type of relationships I’ve ever known up to this point in my life—my loving family and my cherished friendships. It’s about being human, one who has both good and bad days, and about self-love.
This book is for those that look like me, who can relate to my life experiences as a person with a disability. It’s for those that share with me an appreciation for literature, who like to get lost in storytelling and live vicariously through dream worlds with fictional characters. It is for all my fellow chronically single hopeless romantics and for the empaths, those who see the beauty in the natural world—in life and in every human connection on this planet.
This is by far the scariest, most vulnerable thing I’ve ever done in my life, but I’m ecstatic to share my first project of hopefully many more to come in the future. So, I guess all there’s left to say is: If I bare my soul, will you listen?
》 Faith It ‘til You Make It 《 